Object Oriented Programming : Indian Government’s Parody

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Object Oriented Programming : Indian Government’s Parody

Indian Government - A Joke

Guten tag OC readers,

Title sounds familiar right? Of course we have majority of CP/IT people here. While learning JAVA, C++, TURBO

PASCAL, did you realize how their unique features has been integrated within our so called CONSTITUTION?

Nope!? Then hold your breath… I will you take you to the world as I have interpreted while I learned OOP.

Before we start our political talk, let’s discuss some technical stuff. Object Oriented Programming (OOP) has

some outstanding characteristics which makes programming a bit easier. Let’s have a look at them:

OBJECT: Object acts as a link between main program and the class. It serves as an operator.
CLASS: Class is a collection of various function and variable.
INHERITANCE: Sub class or derived class, acquire properties of base class.
DATA HIDING: Not every function can use all data used in a program. Objects are needed to access public or private data.

Above definitions are mentioned just to remind you the basic idea behind them. But now you will be stunned,

when I’ll reveal how our government has elegantly consented these features. Our government is very good at

misinterpretation or should I say rather smart, having adopted things like this.

Let’s see how these features again as our government sees:

OBECT (LEADER OR MINISTER OR MONEY WASTER)

We Indians are leadership oriented people. For every revolution a strong leader is needed for initiation. This is a

universal truth. Leader directs people to unite and fight. Then it’s people who fight for their rights, not leader. But

worst is the case with Indians. Here rebellion ends as soon as leader sits back. We constantly need one person

to lead us or rather fight for us on behalf us. ‘We’ don’t want to do anything. Fight against corruption was on fire

until Anna Hazare was on historic fast. Once he sat back and asked people to fight in front, “we” stepped back.

“We” had taken him for granted. He struggled for us and we supported, but now when he seems to be breaking

down, we are not impulsive to fight this battle for us. We are not even conscious to ask “our representative” how

this happened, or where the hell our money is being (in)wasted?

Freaking people!!

CLASS (UPPER, LOWER)

“Where is THE middle class?

Sorry. . . What’s that?”

Where we have more than 65% people in this class, the main class, they don’t seem interested in it. Budget for

them never execute because, #include<conio.h> is missing for them.

“conio.h stands for console(comfort), input, output and hope…”

Government has various schemes to encourage BPL people, various stimulus packages for industrial growth

which indirectly helps those UC people. But hey! We have more heavy schemes for you MC people, Income tax

schemes. In whatever financial slabs you fall, we will ensure we can get maximum benefits from you.

INHERITANCE

Inheritance is a major problem in our country. In a survey it was found that more than 75% seats at local elections

are replaced by family members only. That means in India democracy makes sense when only certain family

members elect who will be their next candidate in respective seats. Son replaces father or brother replaces

brother in law is a common trend in Indian DEMOCRACY. Well, it is not bad when there is a healthy competition.

But when everybody wants their name in top politics then there is a chaos.

DATA HIDING (2G SCAMS, CWG)

This is the worst situation in Indian democracy. For any politician, any major task at hand is an opportunity to amass money. 2g scam, CWG are recent examples of it. And we Indians are very casual about this. We have RIGHT TO INFORMATION ACT (RTI) which can prove to be a fatal tool for every corrupt politician. The Act specifies that citizens have a right to: